freedom, beauty, truth and love.

The greatest thing, you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

I've developed a recent obsession. It is one of the most beautiful stories and collection of songs.

Leeds.

So i missed one grade which meant i couldn't get into Manchester uni.
I think it was meant to be, because now i'm at Leeds and very happy.
Im living on a campus called "Bodington Hall" for the first year, which is pretty crazy at times.
A massive campus of over 1200 people means it can be difficult to focus on work, hence why right now im not working, but procrastinating.

Im doing a biomedical science course.
It's crazy hard.
There have been times when i've thought of giving up with the maths and chemistry which i haven't done since i was 15, and which i'm meant to know at at least AS level.
For some silly reason the Uni thought they would give me a chance.
At least i'm just scraping a pass in my exams.

I've got some wick friends, 8 of whom i'll be living with in a massive house next year, should be lovely.
However i miss my friends from home so so much, noone will compare really, and they'll always be my bestest friends.
Callum is at Reading university so we have to travel a fair few hours to visit eachother every few weeks.
Its hard, but so so worth it for such special weekends together.

I was there when the picture above was taken, it's amazing for an iphone right? A friend of my friend took when she came to visit. I think it gets rid of all the bad thoughts that people of have of what is actually quite a beautiful city, especially when the clouds look so cool.

absolutely appauling.

i must apologise, its been too bloody long since i blogged.
I've been really busy you see.
A LOT has changed since i last blogged:
- I have fallen in love with a boy called Callum Glazier, and he loves me.
- I didn't get into Machester, so i'm at Leeds Uni, as i type.
- I'v turned 19 years of age, which is the scary age at which you have to start, at least pretending to be mature.

summer resolutions

I know theres only a scary few more weeks left of summer until i'm off to the big bad world of uni, but i still think it would be good to set some aims for myself. I feel that if i don't do this kind of thing i'll shrink into a pit of sleeping in, watching Jeremy Kyle/awful films, and eating crap.

1) I want to be able to read music a bit better before i go to uni (this is presuming i get the grades to get in). I feel so stupid playing the piano when i don't know any of the theory behind it. i don't want to continue being the person who learns songs of youtube. that's not the spirit of music is it?

2) I want to start eating healthier. okay, so everyone says they plan to do this. It seems so unrealistic when you look at it from this approach. Perhaps i shouldn't say "eat healthily", more like "don't cut your life short with crazy amounts of meat and a lack of fruit and veg". i need to cut down on bacon and eggs, to sum up.

3) Blog more. I haven't really done it for ages. Mainly because i look back and cringe at what i've written even months before. It's like an embarassing school diary, but that the whole world can read. I think i'm going to do it more though, just making sure at the same time that i don't write like a douche about my problems and be all wah.

4) learn to play a few songs on guitar. I'm hideous at guitar. I want to be one of those people who can do loads of things to a reasonable amount of skill. I don't see the fuss of being awesome at one thing.

5) Learn more geography, current events and general knowledge. If i'm going to go off to uni and start actually growing up i feel i'll need some knowledge of the world. I can just imagine myself at some posh dinner party, sneaking into the toilets to look up some topic in the news on my phone and then re-entering to join a debate, but still looking like an un-cultured fool.

6) Get fit. Kaj offered to take me jogging with her. I'll give it a try and see how fast i can make these little legs go. It's meant to be good for toning the legs and bum, and generally making you healthier :)

7) I might try those french audio tapes you can get free on itunes. i do miss french a lot.

FORENE BED ON MY PHOGETHIS

mmmmmm

feels so wrong, yet right, and amaazing :) x

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

Yeah...
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

i need to stop moping. he's had such an amazing life.
the thing is im not sure whether to let it all out and cry like i really want to, or whether to hold it in, be strong for my family and then hopefully it'll go away.
just counting down the days now, hoping he's comfortable. but it'll be okay. Angus will be just fine.

I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned
I won't tell anybody
Won't tell anybody
They want to push me down
They want to see you fall (Down)

Won't tell anybody how you turn my world around
I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound
I won't tell anybody
Won't tell anybody
They want to see us fall
They want to see us fall

I don't need a parachute
Baby, if I've got you
Baby, if I've got you
I don't need a parachute
You're gonna catch me
You're gonna catch if I fall
Down, down, down

uni

i firmed manchester, and i've got Leeds as my back up.
Not only does this mean that i have grades i have to achieve, but that i'll be something crazy like 6 hours from everything i know, am familiar with and love, in no time at all.
im so scared by all this applying for accomodation, and when crazy men who ruffle up their hair in presentations tell me how much debt im going to be in i panick.
Im pretty excited, and i the course sounds like my dream, but seeming as friends have to go over the basics of the heart with me, and other basic biological principles from before GCSE, im slightly worried that this might not be the degree or future career area for me. woops hehe nice decision making. should have chosen a piss easy course like nursing :S

le francais

today i had to speak a little french.
Paz's little sister's french exchange student came for coffee with us.
It made me realise how much i miss it.
i can still remember quite a bit, and its just such a beautiful language.
evening classes it shall be, so that the words eventually just slip off my tongue and still make complete sense :)

no munz

I can't believe how much I have to pay for now.
Reading = £200 i think.
Prom = £30
Prom dress = £50 ish
Newquay = £150 ish
crapping my pants about how i'm going to save all that. :S
im trying to think of ways, but i think i'll just have to ask for more work at my cafe, and not spend it on cheese toasties and crap like that.

my bunnies :)

i know its a kinda of 8 year old girl thing, but i love my bunnies os much
got them on sunday
and theyre quite characters
stupid bloody names - Rodney and Mangetout. long story.
mangetout (tutti) is a little shy :S bit worried about him, but i'm sure he'll settle soon.
Rodney'll encourage him. cheeky git

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Wik :P xxxx

i'm so terrible at this

im just not creative enough for all this blogging shiz.

honestly.

I have no capability whatsoever of making a nice blog with touching words, and intruiging photos.

when im older.

If I find i can't get a job for a business, or a decent degree. Or even if i do, and just find i don't enjoy all that, i have a big plan.

If i don't want to live that way im going to move to a little village in the middle of nowehere, in the countryside, like the cotswolds or something.

I'll live there in a little cottage, and i'll get a job as a post-lady or i'll work in a little local shop selling fresh fruit and veg, that'll give me just enough money for the house and to have afew little luxuries.

I'll come home after a lovely day, and because it'll be windy outside with the breeze off the hills i'll light a fire and sit there with thick socks on, watching the soaps.